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“Before I could respond to his insane question, my vagina answered for me—a loud queef had exited its way out of me.”—Excerpted from THE ITALIAN (NOT SO) STALLION
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“It wasn’t that I didn’t have a hymen, it was that my ex’s Vienna sausage was too small to break it.”—Excerpted from BORN AGAIN VIRGIN
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“Claire Huxtable really fucked a lot of girls up. Nobody can pop out five kids, run a brownstone, be a partner at a law firm, speak fluent Spanish and still have sex with her husband on a regular basis.”—Helena Andrews in 15 Questions
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“I promised that when I saw Aunt Flow again, I was gonna kill that bitch.”—Excerpted from GAME ON, MOTHER NATURE
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“He tried to have sex with me, and I slurred something to the effect of ‘I have a wad of cotton up there dude.’”—EXCERPTED FROM FOUL PLAY
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“One minute I heard soft slurping and the next thing I know I’m hearing…crunching.”—Excerpted from CRUNCH TIME
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“As I straddled him facing the door, I realized the doorknob was starting to turn.”—Excerpted from KNOCK KNOCK
Stuff We Like
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Baby you’re the one that I love
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THE JULEZ FOR JAPAN SHIRT HAS ARRIVED!!!
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when i have a kid i am dressing it like this… so...
