CAN I GET a MAN WITH THAT?

KNOCK KNOCK

Today’s contributor learns the value of the old sock on the doorknob

My boyfriend and I were hanging out in his dorm room one night and an impromptu make-out session started to get pretty heated. We started having sex, but in typical dorm-room-sex form, it was hurried and muted — I still had my shirt on and we were trying to be quiet so as not to disturb out neighbors. Still, we were both really getting  into it. As I straddled him facing the door, I realized the doorknob was starting to turn. 

I started to freak out because I realized that my guy had not locked the door, as neither one of us planned on having sex at the time. (Let’s face it, the best times are always the spontaneous ones.) As the doorknob is turning, the door is opening and I’m yelling at the top of my lungs, “No! Don’t come in!”

Read More

DORM DAZE

A college coed wakes up in the wrong bed

I woke up groggy after a long night out. The clock read 7:27am and I was in unfamiliar territory. I had just moved into a new room, so it took me a minute to realize where I was. I was fully clothed in my own pajamas—a flannel matching set with cupcakes—but I wasn’t in my bed and I wasn’t alone.

 I slowly turned over to see who was laying next to me. It was an older guy—score! But he looked vaguely familiar. I was so confused that I aggressively shook him awake. A look of disbelief, embarrassment and sheer terror came across his face all at once. I immediately blurted out the first three questions that came to mind: “How did I get here? Who are you? Oh my god, did we hook up??!!!”

Read More

ROOM RAIDERS

Too much action sends one college coed packing

My roommate and I share a split double dorm, meaning there’s a wall that conveniently divides it in half. But when the door opens, however, you can see straight onto my side of the room. My roommate’s side is behind the wall.

We had talked earlier on about bringing guys back to the room to have sex. In fact, we were both pretty open about it. We agreed that since there’s a wall dividing us, if one person wants to have sex while the other is in the room, it’s perfectly fine, since you cant see anything anyways. But my roommate quickly changed her mind when she realized I was the only one getting any action, and she had no one. I was having sex almost every time she was in the room.

Read More

EXIT ONLY

Back door action has startling consequences for today’s contributor

Editor’s Note: In case you forgot, it’s our favorite day of the week—hump day! 

I was afraid to have anal sex for a long time, but my boyfriend begged and begged, until I felt comfortable enough to give it a try. After about two weeks of experimenting, I was starting to get used to it. It wasn’t as painful as I expected it to be—just a little, uhh, uncomfortable.

One weekend, he came to visit me at school and we started to have sex. Of course, this led to our new mode of choice. Feeling relaxed, I let him go for it, and actually found myself enjoying it for the first time. But the next day was a completely different story.

Read More

YELLOW SUBMARINE

Today’s contributor gets ditched by a hookup who doesn’t exactly measure up

It was freshman year of college—I had gone out drinking, consumed a little too much and somehow ended up in my friend Kyle’s room. His friend Joey was visiting for the weekend and his roommate was out of town. So, there we were, me and Joey, cuddling on the vacant, bottom bunk, while Kyle was laying above us watching TV. 

One thing led to another and soon enough, the two of us were having sex. This was awkward, since I’m 5’ 8” and Joey is no taller than 5’ 5”. As he whipped out a yellow condom, I remember pointing at it and laughing uncontrollably while he slipped it on, saying something about a submarine. Kyle finally realized what we were doing down there and left the room.

Read More