CAN I GET a MAN WITH THAT?

FRIENDSHIP BRACELET

One person’s misplaced birth control is another’s trendy fashion accessory

When I was looking for a birth control method, I covered all my bases — I did online research, read any pamphlet I could get my hands on and had numerous Q&A conversations with my gynecologist. Though I had been sexually active for quite some time and would always use condoms with my partner, I felt it was time to definitely be a little more proactive in preventing an unwanted pregnancy. 

Pills, patches and shots oh my! I was super confused and didn’t know what route to go. After a few weeks of reading and questioning the hell out of my doctor, I decided the best and most convenient choice for me would be NuvaRing, a plastic vaginal ring.

It had been approximately a month since I had gotten on my birth control. I had gotten use to the placement of the NuvaRing and was ready to get it on with my partner! We hadn’t had sex in a month and I was beyond ready. The sex was amazing as usual — The foreplay was seductive and fun — he gave me the best head ever — and once we hit our groove, the positions were straight out the Kama Sutra. Did I mention that one side effect to my new method of contraception was that it won’t fall out during sex?

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LOST AND FOUND

Even an amazing sack session can be missing a few things

Not to brag or anything, but my boyfriend is fairly well-endowed.

Just a few weeks into our relationship, we were both still pretty inexperienced and having technical difficulties (read: no orgasms on either end). He complained that he couldn’t feel much through the condoms we’d been using — large condoms are pretty thick.

In an effort to make our sessions, er, more productive, we decided to try ultra thin condoms. In our haste, we bought regular sized instead of our usual extra large. We rushed back to the bed with our purchase and amazing, pillow-biting sex ensued. After cuddling, we headed to the shower. That’s when I realized something was wrong.

The condom had disappeared.

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KNOCKED UP AND OUT

One consequence of unprotected sex they don’t teach you in school

When I was in college, I wasn’t the type of girl to settle down. I loved going out on the weekends and finding a cute guy to go home with. One night, a particular guy caught my eye. His name was Mike, and he was the tall, dark and handsome type. After striking up a conversation, I knew I was going home with him that night.

Our one-night stand turned into two nights, then three nights, and we ended up hooking up for months. He never used condoms, and I didn’t think much of it because I was on birth control. As the semester continued, I was taking my pill less and less consistently, and sleeping with Mike more and more often. Before I knew it, I was home for winter break, and my period was a week late.

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HOT LINKS ON A PLATTER

A delectable roundup of the week’s most buzzed about topics

• QUOTED: ‘Us girls who grew up a little more homely have to try harder’ — Courtney Love, on why ugly girls have better sex —Page Six
• Happy 50th birthday to the pill: It may be ruining your sex life — how’s that for irony? —Times of India
• Bieber fever turns violent yet again: Kim Kardashian gets death threats from enraged fans —PopEater
• The more, the merrier: Why every woman needs more than one man on her plate —Can I Get A Man With That?
• We knew it was coming — Tiger Woods porno “The 11th Hole” makes its grand debut —Huffington Post
• This week’s sex tape scandal: Hugh Hefner’s ex, Kendra Wilkinson, ‘humiliated’ by tape leak…or is she? —PopEater
• Bye bye, Hannah Montana: Miley Cyrus sexes it up in new music video (VIDEO) —YouTube

We’ll be back on Monday! We want your cringe-worthy dating tales — submit here!

WHAT DADDY DOESN’T KNOW

A call from dad has today’s contributor in for an online feud with a surprise ending

Two years ago I went to the gynecologist to get birth control. They ran standard tests to make sure I was healthy and told me they would call if anything was wrong. Three months later my dad called. “While you were out there having sex with these boys,” he said, “you got gonorrhea and chlamydia!” 

What?? I immediately called my OBGYN, but the receptionist wouldn’t release my information over the phone. My college boyfriend cheated on me, so I figured it was that nasty girl (his ex), who gave me an STD. I decided to settle things like any rational woman my age — I called her a slut in my Facebook status and started an online feud.

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