CAN I GET a MAN WITH THAT?

FAMILY VALUES

Today’s contributor receives an unusual family introduction

“Oh I’m sorry. We thought we heard someone in pain,” my best friend Dan’s mom said, as she opened the door.

I was sitting on the sink in the basement bathroom. My black leggings and boots were on the rug under his feet — my dress and bra pulled down around my waist. Dan, with his jeans wrapped around his ankles, was thrusting in and out of me.

His mom shut the door and ran upstairs to the living room, where her sister, brother-in-law, nephews, husband and other son were waiting. Dan and I threw our clothes on, stumbled up the stairs and walked directly out the front door. We knew we were no longer welcome at his aunt’s house.

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HANDLE WITH CARE

An eager virgin is disappointed when her fantasy turns out to be a bust

In high school, I had a huge crush on my best friend’s older brother. The obvious benefit was seeing him every time I stopped by the house — like the night he discreetly grazed his hand on my leg, while the three of us watched a movie. I was a virgin at the time, but definitely knew how to read body language.

“You should come over tomorrow while my sister is at softball practice,” he whispered as my best friend left the room. I could hardly contain my excitement. We agreed not to tell a soul to avoid any awkwardness between us. I knew I was about to lose my virginity.

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