CAN I GET a MAN WITH THAT?

BATHROOM BREAK

Today’s contributor has trouble coordinating a drunken quickie

One Friday night, I went with my girls to an all-you-can-drink bar to pre-game for a night at the club. A guy that I was talking to at the time was at the bar and I’d heard he’d be following us to the club. I was dying to go home with him that night. Feeling a bit nervous, I sought bravery in the form of alcohol — 5 shots, 3 vodka red bulls and a Long Island Iced Tea, to be exact.

I gave my guy seductive looks across the bar, but didn’t let him get too close. When we got to the club two hours later, my confidence really set in and I dragged him to the dance floor, more drinks in tow. By this point, I was extremely drunk, not to mention extremely horny. I motioned for him to follow me to the restroom.

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PEEPING TOMS

Today’s reader discovers that her friends are more curious than she thought.

It was the biggest sports weekend of the whole year for our college because we were playing our football rival. My three best friends and my sister went with me on our three day weekend road trip. We met some guys at our hotel and ended up drinking with them after the game. Me and one of the guys got really drunk and started making out at the bar. We all split a cab home and the next thing, clothes were flying and we were starting to have sex in the back seat. 

Realizing that we were in front of our friends, we somehow mustered up the tact to decide to hold off until we got back to the hotel room to really go at it. When we got back we immediately jumped on top of each other without surveying the state of the room. The sex was unbelievably intense, I was on top of him, riding hard and screaming loud - our team may have been the Bears but in that moment I was a Cowgirl. I opened my eyes to catch my breath and pull back my hair when I saw something moving in my peripheral vision. 

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O-M-PEE

Today’s contributor learns the unfortunate reason her guy didn’t call

I was looking for a good time to take my mind off a recent breakup. Minutes into the night, I was already drunk and chatting up a hot guy at the bar. It didn’t take long before my drunken banter led us straight to his dorm. He said his roommate wouldn’t be home for a while. Of course that meant we should have sex—so we did, and then I passed out. When I woke up later that morning, he was gone.

I climbed out of his top bunk to get dressed and head home. His roommate was fast asleep on the couch as I was leaving, so I tip-toed out as quietly as possible. Because we go to a pretty small school, I found it weird that I didn’t run into my hookup anywhere around campus (or at the bars for that matter) after our night together. But I would learn the mortifying truth a few weeks later.

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SLEEPING EXHIBITIONIST

Today’s contributor learns the moral dangers of sleepwalking

I had just broken up with my boyfriend and needed a rebound—quick! In my haste to accomplish this goal, I ended up at the most obvious spot for college hookups: the bar. And, naturally, to speed the process along, I consumed more booze than usual.

I spotted a guy from one of my classes, who had a good reputation in bed, and figured I would make him my target for the evening. It only took my fifth drink and about fifteen minutes before we were on our way to his house. We fooled around until we fell asleep. Later, when I got up to use the bathroom, I passed out on the living room couch before I could find it—completely naked.

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THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING

Today’s contributor learns that it’s not always the thought that counts

One Fourth of July, I met a cute guy at the bar. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the fireworks, but I felt like this guy could be a keeper. We hung out for the entire night and made plans to see each other later that week. He seemed really cool, and I was definitely thinking that he had some kind of potential—at the very least as a friend or casual hookup.

A week later, we made plans to get together and go out. While I was waiting for him, he texted me and told me that he got me something and he hoped that I liked it. I was a little taken aback, but curious and excited. I had no idea what it could possibly be, since I had only known him for a week. He arrived at my apartment, bag in hand, and my anticipation mounted. Then, he showed me my special gift.

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SHOW AND TELL

An inebriated college girl takes PDA to a whole new level

I drank quite a bit one night and went out to the bar with a big group of friends. We were all dancing together, when a guy came up behind me and started grinding on me. I turned around to check him out, and realized this guy was drop-dead gorgeous. I’m not usually into PDA, but the combination of alcohol, dark lighting, and this guy’s insane sex appeal made me lose my inhibitions.

Our scandalous dance moves quickly escalated into making out, which then escalated to his hands making a journey down my pants. It was dark, and we were hidden in the masses of people, so I just went along with it. I couldn’t believe I was letting his hands roam so freely in public, but it was thrilling knowing that no one else knew what was happening.

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LOVE BITES

An encounter with a sexy stranger leads to one shameful morning after

On a night out with my sorority sisters, I met this gorgeous Scottish man at the bar. We were talking and dancing, and he bought me a couple of drinks—then things got crazy.

While we were dancing, he grabbed my face and we started making out in the middle of the dance floor. The next thing I knew, I was dragging him into a utility closet at the back of the bar. Unfortunately, we didn’t get much further than kissing before one of the bartenders tried to kick us out, and eventually made us leave. I never even got the gorgeous man’s name.

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VOICEMAIL FAIL

Today’s contributor learns a lesson on the hazards of butt-dialing

I was out with my girlfriends at a bar, and the guy I had been hooking up with was there as well. After some dancing and a lot of drinks, we sat down at the bar and started having a very NSFW conversation, followed by a hot makeout session. It got late and I was tired, so we went our separate ways after making plans for the next day.

The next morning, I woke up to my phone ringing. It was my dad—about to give me some highly disturbing news. Apparently, I had called him at one in the morning and left him a voicemail. My heart immediately started pounding because I knew the call wasn’t intentional. He then proceeded to play the voicemail from his phone on speaker.

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PRINCE NOT-SO-CHARMING

A damsel in distress gets rescued by an unlikely hero

I was at a bar while abroad in Sydney. After some drinks, I somehow ended up outside, making out with a random hottie. He invited me over, but I declined and headed back to the bar to catch up with my friends. I apparently underestimated how much time I spent sucking face on the street, because when I got back, the bar was closed. There I was, stranded, at 3:30 A.M. This would’ve been okay, but my phone, money, and bus pass were in my friend’s bag.

Then I saw him—my knight in shining armor. Okay, so he was short, didn’t really speak English, and smelled like an enticing medley of body odor and ethnic food. But he was there, and he let me use his cell to call my phone. No answer. I started panicking, when he offered me a ride. In retrospect, I regret putting myself in a situation that could have easily been an opening sequence of Law and Order: SVU, but accepting a ride with this fine gentleman seemed better than walking home alone.

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UNDERAGE AND ENRAGED

A blind date tanks when today’s contributor’s guy can’t get tipsy

I once went on a blind date with a guy a few years ago, before I turned 21. Since I still lived at home in the suburbs, I traveled into the city to meet him at a restaurant he picked out. It turned out that the restaurant was actually a bar, and since I wasn’t 21 I couldn’t get in. Instead, we had to meet in the bar’s parking lot. We eventually found another place to go, but my date was irrationally upset about not being able to drink. Clearly, the guy wasn’t as interested in our date as he was in getting hammered.

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