O-M-PEE
Today’s contributor learns the unfortunate reason her guy didn’t call
I was looking for a good time to take my mind off a recent breakup. Minutes into the night, I was already drunk and chatting up a hot guy at the bar. It didn’t take long before my drunken banter led us straight to his dorm. He said his roommate wouldn’t be home for a while. Of course that meant we should have sex—so we did, and then I passed out. When I woke up later that morning, he was gone.
I climbed out of his top bunk to get dressed and head home. His roommate was fast asleep on the couch as I was leaving, so I tip-toed out as quietly as possible. Because we go to a pretty small school, I found it weird that I didn’t run into my hookup anywhere around campus (or at the bars for that matter) after our night together. But I would learn the mortifying truth a few weeks later.
I was minding my own business at a campus party with my girlfriends when a guy who looked vaguely familiar asked to have a word with me. He said that he was roommates with the guy I had slept with a few weeks earlier. He had come to tell me why I’d never step foot in their dorm again and should probably avoid all contact with him and his roommate for the rest of my college career.
His explanation went a little something like this: Apparently, I was so drunk, and perhaps so satisfied, that I peed the bed after sex! Not only did it get on the guy I had sex with, but it managed to drip down onto the lower bunk, too. I was so embarrassed at this shocking discovery that I ran all the way home and didn’t show my face at that bar for weeks. And I’ve been ducking for cover every time I spot my hookup within a 1 mile radius ever since.
