Ask a Blogger: The Gaggle Edition
Jess and Becky of WTF is Up with My Love Life?! tell us what’s what on five confessions—among them, black eyes, yellow penises and faking it.
Editor’s Note: The WTF?! girls came up with the Gaggle concept, which they say has replaced dating. Gaggle (n.) a select group of guys in your life who compel you to put in that little bit of extra effort because they are, or potentially could be, romantic prospects.
1. CAN I GET A MAN WITH THAT? — Here we have a scenario where two girls are unknowingly on a date with the same guy. Honestly, we thought this only happened in 90s sitcoms.
WTF is Up with My Love Life?! — Whaaaat?! Who actually thinks they can pull this off?! Sounds like he had a bad case of Gaggles Gone Wild. But as a fellow modern woman, I’m glad to hear these two girls kept their cool and didn’t go all Brandy and Monica on his ass.
CIGAMWT — Don’t you hate it when a guy you would never consider sober, ends up blowing you off?! We have evidence it could be worse: This contributor got ditched mid-hookup by “a midget with a yellow dick.”
WTF?! — This might be the only story I’ve ever heard where The Guy You Are Embarrassed To Be Seen With (not in your gaggle) becomes The Super Horny Guy (in your gaggle), and then suddenly morphs into The Guy Who Just Blew You Off (still in your gaggle, but not for long). Uh, congrats?
CIGAMWT — Ah. Yes. The ‘I love you’ retraction. A contributor’s uber-sensitive boyfriend uttered the magic words, I love you, after 2 weeks of dating. Then he immediately blamed it on the emo Grey’s marathon they had just watched. McDreamy or McCreepy?
WTF?! — Am I the only one who thinks he handled his gaffe perfectly? Boyfriend Prospect! Although I wonder what would happen if she made him watch a Jersey Shore marathon…
CIGAMWT — The only thing worse than bad sex is getting caught faking it. In this case, the guy had already stopped thrusting, pumping, or whatever he was doing. Meanwhile, our contributor was so caught up in ‘performing,’ she didn’t realize her co-star was now standing right in front of her.
WTF?! — OUCH. That’s gotta hurt. If he gives her another chance, maybe these two should stick to phone and Skype sex for now. First step: Techno-Romance. Second step: real romance (no faking!)
CIGAMWT — We got at least one outraged comment on this confession, involving a contributor who went all Jerry Springer on her boyfriend after she caught him cheating. The end result: he had two black eyes and a chipped tooth.
WTF?! — “…two black eyes and a chipped tooth…” WTF?! We may be in the midst of an infidelity outbreak, but let’s be classy, ladies. Dump him and go on a few Non-Dates with some non-cheaters. That’ll help her heal and hurt him worse in the end, anyway — I promise!
WTF Is Up With My Love Life?! is a blog and online forum exploring modern romance and relationships in the post-dating world. Co-founders Jessica Massa and Rebecca Wiegand weigh in on everything from non-dates to techno-romance to the guys in your gaggle. New Line is developing a movie based on the site, and the book (sharing the stories of women around the country) is in the works.
Illustration by Jenyffer Maria
