BEDROOM BLUFF
Today’s contributor performs an unlikely one-woman show
I had been close friends with this guy since freshman year of high school. There was always a spark between us, but we never pursued it until our late-20s, and under one condition—sex only. I wanted this guy for over a decade, so of course I was excited!
It all started doggy style—or at least for him it started. He was allegedly working it out, while moaning, “Oh girl, you feel so good.” I wished I could say the same, but I couldn’t feel anything! I was faced with a dilemma: Normally, I wouldn’t pretend to enjoy lukewarm sex, but in this case, the sex was almost nonexistent and he was my friend. Knowing the kind of guy he is, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So I did it. I faked it.
I started panting and moaning and “ooh baby, yeah that’s good.” But still, nothing! So I tried talking myself into it (as if that would work!) by closing my eyes and rocking to what I guessed was his rhythm. Silence. I was caught up in acting for about 30 seconds before I realized he stopped moaning. And when I finally looked up, he was standing right in front of me! With my eyes wide open, fixed in a shocked Botox expression, I was caught… faking it.
I was so embarrassed, but even worse was the fact that I lied to my friend. And he’s probably gonna remember it for the rest of his days.
Editor’s Note: According to The Great Male Survey, 51 percent of men would be offended by this. P.S. You should also read First Cum, First Served.
DeAndra submitted this to 
