GUYS AND BALLS
An intense male scuffle over today’s contributor goes from heated to hilarious
I was in Italy for work and staying with a guy friend. One weekend, we went to the coast with his friends. We shared a hotel suite, but it wasn’t weird—I’d made it clear that I had no romantic interest in him. Although I barely understood Italian, I immediately had chemistry with one of his gorgeous friends, Giorgio. The first night there, we had a party in our suite. The drinks were flowing, and soon, Giorgio and I were making out on the balcony. With my friend already in bed, things started getting heated with Giorgio, so we headed back inside. Minutes later, we were naked in the living room having sex. We tried to be quiet, but we were too drunk to be stealth. We heard stirring from the bedroom and it was my friend opening the door. We scrambled to get dressed, but it was too late — he burst in, screaming in Italian at Giorgio (clearly about me). I was trying to calm them down when I glanced at Giorgio. I guess he couldn’t find his pants, because he had accidentally thrown my jeans on. And his shirt was too short to cover the fact that his family jewels were hanging out of the jeans. I burst out laughing, which helped ease the tension a little bit, and things calmed down. For as long as I live, I will never forget the image of two Italian men, engaged in a screaming fit over me…one with his balls hanging out of my pants. Come back tomorrow when the “whip smart, hilarious Sexist blogger,” Amanda Hess tells our contributors what’s what.
