PRINCE NOT-SO-CHARMING
A damsel in distress gets rescued by an unlikely hero
I was at a bar while abroad in Sydney. After some drinks, I somehow ended up outside, making out with a random hottie. He invited me over, but I declined and headed back to the bar to catch up with my friends. I apparently underestimated how much time I spent sucking face on the street, because when I got back, the bar was closed. There I was, stranded, at 3:30 A.M. This would’ve been okay, but my phone, money, and bus pass were in my friend’s bag.
Then I saw him—my knight in shining armor. Okay, so he was short, didn’t really speak English, and smelled like an enticing medley of body odor and ethnic food. But he was there, and he let me use his cell to call my phone. No answer. I started panicking, when he offered me a ride. In retrospect, I regret putting myself in a situation that could have easily been an opening sequence of Law and Order: SVU, but accepting a ride with this fine gentleman seemed better than walking home alone.
He drove me back, and as I left, he demanded a kiss. I felt bad, so I pursed my lips and pecked. Unfortunately, he kissed back. I was grossed out, but grateful that he hadn’t tried to knock me out and stuff me in his trunk.
The next day, I got a text from an unknown number. It was him, inviting me to his “citizenship party.” I didn’t respond…that one kiss was more than enough for me.
