THE BATHROOM BREAK-IN
A new relationship is tested by the dreaded ‘no. 2’
There are certain milestones in a relationship that take some time to reach — like feeling comfortable enough to take a dump in your boyfriend’s bathroom. This monumental occasion arrived (or so I thought) when I was at my boyfriend’s house and had to go to the bathroom … bad. But I chickened out, and decided I wasn’t at the point where I could handle doing that at his house. So, I made up an excuse to leave with the intent to rush home.
Unfortunately, as I pulled away in my car, I realized I wasn’t going to make it. Desperate, I called a friend who lived in the neighborhood and asked if I could stop by her house to use her bathroom. She said I could, but her family was out so she gave me the code to her garage. By that point, using the bathroom in peace trumped all guilt in sneaking into her family’s empty house — so I went for it.
I finally made it to the throne when suddenly, I heard the garage door open. Panicking, I hurried to finish my business and stumbled out of the bathroom. To my horror, I was met by her parents and her cute brother, all of whom were staring at me wondering what in God’s name I was doing in their house. After explaining my embarrassing tale, I embarked on a different kind of walk of shame … away from a group of people who knew I broke into their house for a bathroom emergency.
In retrospect, while it’s important to keep the romance alive in a new relationship, on that day I wished I had done the dreaded no. 2 at my boyfriend’s house. It couldn’t have been any worse than getting caught breaking and entering — right?
Editor’s Note: We think it’s kick-ass to take a dump at your boyfriend’s house, but this hilarious video illustrates why today’s contributor was rightfully weary.
