SWEET PEE & THE WILDERNESS MAN
Today’s contributor thought her date had no manners, until she did something utterly shameful.
I’d been working 12 hour+ days when I met up for a first date with Wilderness Man. He will forever remain with that name in my memory, because, to this day, I’ve never met a man so in tune with his inner animal. We met up at a bar and talked awkwardly for a while, while he ate and drank like a man who hadn’t even heard of the word etiquette. The date was going nowhere and we both figured that out relatively quickly. I said I had to go and he walked me to the train to go back up town, only then did we realize that we lived in the same neighborhood. Then, disaster struck.
After 11, the trains run on a late night schedule, meaning they’re slow, unreliable, and exceptionally crowded. Hours seemed to fly by as we waited for the train, and we had absolutely nothing to talk about, making every passing minute more awkward than the next. We might as well have parted ways and acted like we didn’t know each other. Finally, the train came and only then did my weak bladder decide to let me know that it was time to go pee pee.
I figured I could hold it, I definitely wasn’t about to go to the bathroom and be stuck waiting for the next train, it was just my luck that the train ride seemed to take an even longer time. We had been on the train an insanely long time when I — well there’s no right way to say this…peed myself. Yes! I couldn’t hold it in, one too many cocktails and a bladder the size of a pea, made me pee my pants in front of an overly crowded and cranky group. This is my eternal shame.
