HOT N’ READY
Today’s contributor’s Halloween Costume turns out to be a bit of false advertising.
It was Halloween, and my best friend and I had the brilliant idea of dressing up as “Hot n Ready” pizzas. We literally wore booty shorts, sports bras, and Little Ceaser’s pizza boxes, as our costumes. We even wrote “Are you?” on the back because we found it funny.
But we also wanted to make it obvious that the whole “hot and ready” costume was for laughs. Too bad it wasn’t a joke to the guy I met that night at the party my best friend and I went to.
Not very long after we arrived at the Halloween party, things moved pretty quickly with the guy I was talking to. Before I knew it, we were making out and making our way into his room. Take it from me, getting freaky while wearing a box isn’t a very easy situation. I may have been hot and ready, but I certainly wasn’t easy access. Before long, my hookup also noticed this, so he removed the box. With the box out of the way, all signs should have pointed to GO, except — my panties decided they wanted to latch on for dear life like a chastity belt. He just couldn’t get them to come off, and then he suddenly decided he wasn’t ‘hungry’ anymore.
After my failed attempt at a halloween romp, I made him take me home in a cab after that—big mistake. He wasn’t ‘hungry,’ but he assumed I was and proceeded to whip out his penis with a request for a backseat blow job—in the cab. I declined. Luckily, we were almost back to my place, and when I got out of the cab, the driver noticed my costume, laughed, and said, “Hot n ready?” To which the guy responded, “She’s actually not hot and ready.” Guess I should be careful next time I wear a costume with the connotation to ‘eat me.’
