(M)ORAL PERFORMANCE
Today’s contributor has a run-in with a not so holy church boy.
I was performing in the choir at a school concert, when this guy I had been crushing on asked if I wanted to make out with him in my car. He was Mormon, so I was a bit confused—wasn’t his body was supposed to be for Jesus? Not one to pass up a good time, I obliged and a couple of minutes into the car action he said, “Give me a blow job.”
As my head is bobbing in the back seat, I saw headlights shining towards the window and the car looked really familiar—it was my mom! I quickly maneuvered his member out of my mouth and ducked down. Cautiously peeking out, Mr. Holier Than Thou got tired of waiting and said, “I think we’re done here.”
I went back inside, just in time to perform a solo in front of my parents with the taste of dick in my mouth. With my mouth open wide, I tried to repress the mental picture of what had just occurred, as my parents beamed with pride at their little girl’s angelic voice. They had no idea that this was my second “performance” of the night and that I had just sucked Mormon dick in the backseat of my car.
I’m going to hell.
