FOUL PLAY
A drunken hookup leads to a smelly situation
One weekend I had a big house party while my ‘rents were out of town. Somehow I ended up getting seriously drunk and found an equally drunk guy—a friend of a friend. He had tried to pull move after move on me all night, and after a few hours I gave in and we went up to my bedroom.
He almost immediately went down on me and I was definitely enjoying it—until I realized I had a tampon in! Gross, I know. I am one of those girls who doesn’t want anyone remotely near my lady parts during that time of the month. Like I mentioned, we were both completely hammered, so I just decided to let it go.
He tried to have sex with me, and I slurred something to the effect of “I have a wad of cotton up there dude.” Thankfully he gave up and we fell asleep quickly.
The next morning I woke up to an awful stench. My friends poked their heads in the room to check on me and couldn’t handle the foul odor. It was like a satanic mixture of rotten eggs, baby poop, sulfur, and blood. My pals were dry heaving, and I’m pretty sure one of them threw up.
My hook up buddy tried to tell people that his feet were smelly, instead of telling people the truth— like his version was any better! We now refer to him as Stinkbug.
