BURNING LOVE
Today’s contributor tackles an unfamiliar sensation
In college, my boyfriend and I would rent motel rooms by the hour to get freaky outside of the dorms. Yeah, I realize how lowbrow that sounds.
One day, he brought strawberry lube, which we had never used before. It was exciting trying something new! We started having sex and at first it was great, until my va-jay-jay started burning.
I ignored the feeling for a minute or two but the pain was just getting worse. It felt like my intestines were on fire! I couldn’t help it- I started yelling and shot up to ‘flush’ myself out in the bathroom. My guy flipped out and started apologizing- he thought he had poked me too hard!
The people in the rooms next to ours sure got a show. I’m sure they all heard: loud moaning, then yelling, the bathroom door slamming, and my guy yelling “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” If I were an outsider I would have called the cops and reported a freaking domestic dispute.
I totally blueballed him, because there was no way I could handle another second of sex, not after that torture. I curled up in the fetal position after I made my way back to the bed, and we ended up just watching a movie.
The good news is, that boyfriend is now my husband, and we are not even tempted to use lube anymore. Even if it smells like strawberries.
