LOST IN TRANSLATION
Today’s contributor’s spontaneous nudity gets a chilly reception
I had been casually seeing a guy for about three weeks. He was a fireman and built to perfection. We would hang out a few times a week and text frequently and I found myself wanting things to get more serious.
One day after he’d left his laptop at my place, he asked me to drop it off at his house. He told me he wouldn’t be home and that I should grab his spare key from the doorman. I was so excited — I thought it showed that he really trusted me and might be ready to make our relationship more exclusive. I started getting all sorts of ideas about how to make my time at his house worthwhile — I planned to surprise him with an elaborate meal, but when I got to his place, I saw that his bachelor pad didn’t offer much to work with in the way of cooking. So, I decided to do something a little more risque.
I showered, put on some body spray, refreshed my makeup and took off all of my clothes. I covered up a bit, of course — with his fireman boots and hat. I spent the next 20 minutes trying out sexy poses for when he walked in. Finally, I heard him coming down the hall. I panicked and ended up standing there with my hands on my hips in front of the door. But when I saw him walk through the door, my mouth dropped and my naked body froze — he’d walked in with another girl.
He had his arm around her and I could tell there was something going on between them. He screamed “Oh My God! What the hell are you doing?” The girl looked pissed, while he tried to explain that he had no idea what I was doing butt-naked in his apartment. She told him she felt really awkward and left. I scrambled across the living room putting on my clothes as he tried to explain that I had gotten mixed signals. He smirked and told me that he wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.
I told him I didn’t think we should see each other anymore and got out of the apartment fast, my face a lovely shade of firetruck red.
