NUTS ABOUT YOU
Today’s contributor learns when your dad ices your BF’s balls, its never a good thing
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for the past year and a half. Because we’ve been together for so long, you’d think that my dad would warm up to him, right? Wrong. My BF and dad never hit it off, and they still don’t mesh. It’s not that they don’t like each other—they are just both very different people.
One night when my boyfriend was over, he decided that he would extend the effort and talk to my dad to score some brownie points. My dad was sitting in the TV room sipping on a Cuba Libra trying to convince my sisters he was still in excellent shape despite his age. Knowing that my dad had a few drinks in him, one of my sister’s told him to prove it.
Apparently, the only thing he could possibly think of to prove his svelte-ness was to do a handstand in the middle of the TV room surrounded by his loved ones and my boyfriend. Bad idea.
He got up into it all right, but almost immediately lost his balance. Whether it was the booze or his age — or a combination of both — we’ll never know, but my dad rolled/somersaulted forward and kicked my boyfriend directly in the balls.
Before that night I thought their relationship could not get any more awkward. My boyfriend tried to remain composed, but he couldn’t help doubling over in pain. Hastily apologizing, “Mr. Evil Knievel” offered my BF a bag of ice for his balls. Surely, icing his nuts was a sign of solidarity.
