1. LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

    Today’s contributor hopes she didn’t inherit her mother’s oral skills

    If there’s one thing you should know about me, it’s this: I hate cum. I can’t even touch it without gagging. Don’t even ask me to swallow—it won’t be sexy. For my six-month anniversary with my boyfriend, we went out to a lovely dinner. It was time for a little dessert back at his place. Unfortunately, Aunt Flo paid a visit, so we couldn’t do what we wanted. Instead, I decided to treat him to oral.

    As I went down on him, he told me he was about to finish, so I switched to a hand job to avoid his gun going off. All of a sudden he came everywhere—my hands, my arms, my chest. And if that wasn’t bad enough—he shot me in the eye.

    As he cleaned me up, my eye started burning. We ran to the bathroom and repeatedly rinsed it out, but it was no use—my eye was irritated and bloodshot. He finally brought me home, and came in to say hi to my parents. Imagine the awkwardness of encountering my mom with a mysterious bloodshot eye, too.

    When my mom asked me what happened to my eye. I froze. Quick as I could, I told her I used expired mascara. She then told me that her eye had been irritated and red all day too, so we should probably both throw out our mascara. I can only hope that at least she was telling the truth. I don’t want to think of my parents… ugh!

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