THE PUSSYCAT’S DOG
Today’s contributor has a penis-attacking pussy
Last month, my boyfriend and I adopted a cat from a nearby shelter—an uber-friendly kitten named Doug, who loves to play with squeaky toys. The only problem is—when my boyfriend and I are having sex, Doug likes to watch. It creeps me out, so during sexy time, Doug gets the boot.
One night, we had toe-curling sex, not unlike usual. When we’re finished, my boyfriend always has a very large erection—I like to stare at him. I don’t know why, it just turns me on, so I make him stand in front of me while I lay on the bed. But for some very strange reason, unbeknown to us, Doug had made it into the bedroom that night.
Since Doug is just a kitty, apparently he has difficulty telling the difference between his squeaky hot dog toy and my boyfriend’s penis—because he jumped and viciously smacked my boyfriend’s erect penis like a squeaky hot dog! I couldn’t believe it—and neither could my boyfriend when he crouched down into the fetal position. I tried to keep a straight face, but it was just too hilarious. I erupted in tears of laughter, while my boyfriend shed a tear of pain.
Ever since this terrible accident, it’s very hard for my boyfriend to get an erection because all he’s thinking about is Doug playing with his penis. I can’t even sleep with my own man the same anymore. Thanks to my very own pussy, Doug.
